Blog My Salad

2008-11-25T14:11:00.002-06:00

i have to take a crap right now. i'm probably not gonna do it til i get home from work, but that doesn't mean the feeling doesn't exist. i get a sense of accomplishment when i do things like that. hold-offs til later. there's nothing better than deucing dans la maison.
speaking of french, i was eating fries yesterday from wendy's. i will probably poop it into the eau de toilette.
speaking of, me n russ got cologne for my lil bro, nick_hotpawz, yesterday. he's twenty. ahahahahahahahahahha ahahaha old bastard.

2004-07-20T13:01:00.000-05:00

this ones short.
first of all, let me just say that Anchorman rules!
secondly, Anchorman rules!
yeah, i havent laughed that much at rediculosity since Wet Hot American Summer. good stuff.
i was googling reviews for the movie and i noticed it's kick-ass to some people, and ass-kickable to others. weird. thats nothing against the nay-sayers to this type of humour, either. i just think they're missing out on all the fun, is all. guess its a matter of taste then. i tasted deliciousness.

2004-06-30T15:49:00.000-05:00

So I just downloaded the ENTIRE Billboard Top 100 of 1998. Which, if all of us (well, at least me, Wes, Deej, and Nex) remember, was our high school grad year. It took me on a fantasy ride into the past. It was a tad really depressing. Fuck, was life sweet in 98. There was the Mustang, there was Nex and his Swift, there was Tec, it even reminds me of Jennifer Daeninck. I haven't said that name in a while. It's weird, because every song reminds me of something. Like "Ghetto Superstar", which reminded me of those homos at Sisler who played that song NON FUCKING STOP during the track meet. From 9 am until 4 pm, it was Pras and Mya: Repeat One. Or "Come With Me" by P. Diddy (nee Puff Daddy) and Jimmy Page, which reminded me of the Drive-in when we saw Godzilla, and it marked the first time ever me and Wes were determined to NOT fall asleep during Godzilla, just so we knew the entire movie sucked. No one could be like, "Oh, you fell asleep during the best part!!" like everyone was with eXistenZ and the bone gun.

But you know what the shittiest thing was? Do you know what the number one song of 1998 was? In a year that had "My Heart will go On", "I don't wanna miss a thing", and a host of songs from various boy bands like 5ive, Hanson and Mase, the number one song is fucking "Too Close" by Next. That's so weak. When someone asks me "What was the number one song the year you graduated?" I have to say, "Ummm, it was 'Too Close' by Next". Wow.

2004-06-18T12:33:00.000-05:00

I just got back from celebrating the fact that Karl Malone will never EVER win a NBA title. Sweet Jesus I love it. I don't rememeber the last time I felt more alive when I saw Karl "I never win" Malone on the bench in street clothes. The icing on the cake was when they interviewed Derek Fisher after the game and he was on the verge of crying. Yes I've had many nights filled with sweet dreams after the Lakers lost. I just hate the Lakers that much, even more so with Karl Malone on their roster. So my hate list goes like this

1. Karl Malone
2. L.A. Lakers
3. The Devil

Although I bet the first 2 on my list is in cahoots with number 3, those fucking bastards love to stick together.

Well I should be getting back to something resembling work.

P.S. Die Karl Malone

2004-06-16T11:42:00.000-05:00

With football season FINALLY started there is a new fantasy football league I have a private league set up so anyone who wants to join send me an email

nex_starr@hotmail.com

it is thru fsn.ca/cfl but I will send you alink to sign up directly to my league

and HAHAHAHAHAHA Lakers suck big hairy monkey arse

2004-06-16T08:40:00.000-05:00

Wes, I found the site that should help us in our new-found venture. I think the first thing I'm going to build is a stand for my current aquarium, and then a small tank/stand set for the other side of my living room. Maybe that's what I'll start my saltwater tank on.

2004-06-15T06:18:00.000-05:00

First, I wanna give a huge thanks to Shaner and Wes for the b-day gifts, which I totally was not expecting. But combined, the two of you made me spend like $60 on shelving - to house the extra speakers, and to create a shrine to the Dolphins, which now includes the beer stein and plaque, as well as the bobblehead doll you gave me for housewarming/birthday last year.

Speaking of those speakers, because I only have one headphone jack, I went to CBIT to see what I can do about it. I figured I had two options: either get a splitter and have five speakers deliver 2-channel stereo, or fork over some change for an external sound card. So some fucking Asian dude comes up to me and asks me if I need any help. So I tell him I got these speakers as a gift, and I just wanted to know what I can do to hook them up to my laptop. The guy gives me this arrogant fucking look and says, "That's why you don't try and get surround sound with a laptop." Then he proceeds to bash my system of choice. Then, the motherfucker has the audacity to try and sell me a new PC, not 60 seconds after he just insulted me. The problem with places like Computer Boulevard is that you need a ridiculous amount of computer knowledge to be able to do the job. Unfortunately, 98% of the people with that knowledge have no discernable social skills to speak of. Fucking dorks. I just wanted to kick the living shit out of that guy so he could remember how it felt to be in high school again, where there wasn't a counter and security cameras between you and some guy you thought you were better than just cause you have a PC.

Wow, now that I'm done with the tirade, here's the good news: when I went to get hooked up with Shaw Extreme today, I asked hem about NFL Sunday Ticket. They said they don't have a price yet, but that it should be in the $20 a month range. Which, of course, settles it: I WILL have NFL Sunday Ticket. So if you're in the mood to watch the Dolphins, or the Falcons (or at least ONE Falcon), or, God forbid, some shitty team like the Seahawks or the Packers, come on down. And don't worry, there's a corner store right across the street from my place, in case you forgot your Pro-Line.

2004-06-09T15:26:00.000-05:00

What a run for Calgary!

Here's the question..do the Flames actually have a good team, or are they the next Capitals/Hurricanes/Ducks? Assuming there is going to be a season next year, will the Flames amke any noise again, or will it be back to Detroit/Colorado/Dallas making it out of the west?

2004-06-08T16:02:00.000-05:00

the fun has just begun.

..one of the greatest captions. i cant name another picture with a power quote that memorable.
we were at sleeps at your house, nex. and we had our powdered iced teas. and our e-feds. and our midis. and we had to delete the midis as we got them to save hard disk space.
then we came across that pile of diskettes in the drawer with what seemed like hundreds of naked ladies doing naked things. there was that one girl who was topless by a pool, with the sexiest face, and the bikini-tanned boobs. i'll never forget her. i wanted to marry her right then and there. i still do.
so anyway, we looked at the nakeds. all of them. but one of those diskettes stood out from the rest. i think it was red, with the leftovers of a label being peeled off it. you should check the drawer, you might still have it. if you do happen across that disk, you can re-live the shock of seeing a human hand being devoured by a human anus. gobbled up, even. to the knuckle. oh and dont forget the caption.

2004-06-08T14:18:00.000-05:00

legendary jpeg??

Why is it that The Blue bombers will never keep a canadian quarterback? They cut Tom Denison for Brian Stallworth and Taman said it is the hardest decsion he had to make.... it would not have been so hard if he KEPT Denison.

2004-06-08T11:46:00.000-05:00

Yep, not too bad a debut for the boys in blue and gold. But let's be honest for a sec: if Calgary's offence, which had ALL of it's starters in except for Darnell McDonald, can't even score on a defence where NOT ONE regular starter even went to Calgary, much less played, I think that says less about our scouting, and more about what kind of trouble they're in in Stampeder-land. I feel bad for Matt Dunigan, because as of right now, he's not only their coach and GM, he's also the best quarterback they've got.

The guys who really stood out for me, aside from Jon Ryan and Travis Ortega, were defensive end Tom Canada and linebacker Tony Ortiz. Look for the Bombers to try and deal either Terry Ray or Lamar McGriggs now that Ortiz has shown he's the real deal. We could maybe package together Stan Jackson and one of those two for a defensive end or a Canadian O-Lineman from either BC or Hamilton, where they have some quarterbacking issues.

On another note, happy belated Bees to best friend Wes Sayas. How does two-four feel? Same as the last three, where we predict that this is the year where "the fun has just begun"? Yep, Nick, we STILL talk about that now-legendary jpeg.

Now that all of this hoopla with the Flames has died down, and now that they'll join Anaheim, Florida and Carolina as magical Cinderella stories that captured the hearts of millions, only to fall just short and be totally forgotten about three months later, I think it's okay for me to air my true feelings about the Flames. I said they would make the Cup final. I said that Calgary had the best goalie in the West in Mikka, and that Jarome was the leader they needed. I thought that Vancouver had some holes, and that if they got past Vancouver, it was on to Detroit who was showing their age late in the season, and then probably Colorado, where I thought Mikka could outshine Aebischer. That being said, I never really cheered for the Flames. I was a total Jets fan in the 90's, an Oiler fan in the 80's. And as Smythe Division rivals, there was ONLY one thing Jets and Oiler fans had in common: you both hated the Flames. And you both hated the Canucks. That's why I couldn't really cheer for them, cause I've been a Flames hater for like 18 of my 23 years on earth. It's also why I don't cheer for the Moose. Cause any player that becomes awesome becomes a Canuck. Fuck the Canucks.

2004-06-06T11:41:00.000-05:00

Well here we go the season has officially started and all I can say is WOW.

A rookie-laden squad rolls into Calgary and rolls ove a team filled with veterans. Many great preformances by many rookies but the two players that stood out were Jon Ryan who scored 23 of the 29 points the Blue scored. With a punting average of 53.5 yards on 8 punts including two thundering booms of 81 yards and 72 yards. After missing his first field goal attempt from 35 yards he then went on to kicked field goals from 25, 27, 36, 44, 37 and 31 yards.
The second was Travis Ortega who had one interception and two fumble recoveries.

As for the quarterback situation all qb's that played had an alright night Kevin Glenn had a shaky start having trouble getting into the groove but ended his day 5-14 with 61 yards , Brian Stallworth completed 4 of 9 for 56 yards but the one that stood out the most was rookie quarterback Tom Denison who threw for four of six for 46 yards.

But even tho it is only the first pre-season and first game of the year the bombers offence still had some trouble scoring points. With 9 turnovers they only scored one touchdown a one yard plunger by Chris Cvetkovich.

The Offence has alittle work to do in order to score when it counts but is coming along nicely. The Defence has picked up exactly where it left off(before the playoffs) last year execpt this time around with younger players.

After tonight at 11 pm (bomber time) the roster must be cut down to 50 players so look back tonight for a full report on who has been cut. The next Bomber game is June 10 at CanadInn Stadium against the B.C Lions kick off at 7:30 pm.

On an un-related note... R.I.P Ronald Reagan Who passed away yesterday at the age of 93.

Ronald Reagan
1911-2004

2004-05-28T15:50:00.000-05:00

Here's something I've been waiting for!!

Please, PLEASE don't suck ass!!

I don't know about the whole Andy Kaufman thing... on the one hand, why would he reveal himself through a blog? The greatest prank of all-time should be revealed on a national stage, like on Conan O'Brien or between episodes of American Idol. Then again, anything "conventional" doesn't apply to Mr. Kaufman, so in a way it makes perfect sense. I don't know, I'm just waiting for Tupac Shakur to tell everyone he faked his death, and was really the new, thinner Missy Elliott. And the old, heavy Missy Elliott is really Ja Rule... and the real Ja Rule is dead. Very, very dead.

2004-05-28T13:00:00.000-05:00

yeah, man. my plecko poos all the time. it comes out in ropes and gets tangled in my trees so i gotta change/clean my filter every week or so.
my plecko's a champ though. i bought two of them when i first got my tank. it was a really small tank too, i think like 3 litres. so yeah, i named them No Name 1 and No Name 2. i saluted No Name 1 into the toilet maybe a couple months later. i was pretty sad that i only had one suckerdude left. next thing i know, i see my survivor suckin on the glass and theres a crazy burn on his chest. proportional to the human torso, it would span a big circle in the area between your nipples and your belly button. it turns out he took a liking to feeding off my tank heater. i was seeing his innards like he had a window on his belly. i thought he was a for sure goner, but id wake up everyday surprised to see him still going on strong. the wound has healed and No Name 2 has a faint battle scar on his body which is now the length of my entire hand. he's my favorite fish, except for the poo factor.

2004-05-25T07:11:00.000-05:00

Andy Kaufman is back baby!

http://www.blogger.com/profile/3366024

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/040519/234/726q1.html

This guy says he is Andy and that he faked his own death and returned 20 years later...just like he said he would back in the day.

Is he the real deal...I sure hope so. Something like this would be CRAZY. And who knows, maybe Elvis, JFK and Marilyn are together on some island hanging with the Aliens.

2004-05-18T17:56:00.000-05:00

How about those Lakers!?!?

2004-05-17T08:55:00.000-05:00

I found a picture of two of the fish I own:

They're called Cobalt Blue Zebras, and they're pretty sweet. They're super aggressive, though, and the big one keeps chasing the little one around. Luckily, the small one is pretty fast, and the big one is REALLY FUCKING DUMB. The small one will just go through a hole in the rocks, and then the big one can't fit, and will spend like five minutes looking for the small one, who hasn't moved at all.

Wes, what kind of fish do you have in your tank? And do your plecos poo up a storm, or is it just because there's so much algae in my tank, and he's feasting?

Tell us a tale of your tank, and then I'll tell you all about mine! I'm totally geeking over this fish thing... I may be buying a little 10 gallon tank just as a hospital tank in case any of my fish get sick.

I knew you'd like that binary joke...

You know, every time you leave town on a trip, you should regale us at this site of a story from the road. Like the time you were so bored you videotaped yourself taking a bath, and somehow had no nudity throughout the course of the video... or so we're led to believe.

2004-05-17T00:33:00.000-05:00

well, well, well. what do we have here? this place is looking pretty snazzy. i have a plan to frequent the salad more often since i now have a portal to the internet in my sleeping quarters.

im going to be completely honest with you. i thought that joke you wrote down there about the 10 types of people was hilarious. i read it three times and the whole time i was shaking my head, and whisper-laughing out of my nose.

this whole new interface thing is kinda neat too eh? the profile thing is cool and that random question thing is something i havent seen before. as much as i hate to quote two pop culture icons at the same time, i gotta say that im lovin it. bada bap bap ba.

but i'll be missing in action till thursday though because im off to beautiful grand rapids, manitoba for work. three motel nights of guitar tablature training and late-night tv.

2004-05-16T10:09:00.000-05:00

Wow, who knew that when I picked up Digital Cable that the two channels I'll have watched the most after two weeks would be Tech TV and Showcase Diva. Okay, so Showcase Diva is only because I happen to catch it every time they're showing Degrassi High, but Tech TV? I've never seen so many women who were both supremely dorky and frustratingly hot at the same time. That Morgan from X-Play? Man, that's the stangest combination of dorky and hot since I bought that Upper Deck Scottie Pippen/Jenna Von Oy card for two bucks from Cancentral.

Okay, if I didn't need a reminder as to why the NBA, which was once my supreme favorite sport, has fallen behind the NFL, CFL, NHL, WWE, CIS, IIHF, and MHSAA in terms of spectator sports, I've gotten a stark fucking reminder over the last three days. As far as I know, and as far as I've heard, and read, and been told by Bill Walton himself, you need AT LEAST 0.7 seconds to be able to catch and shoot. You also need at least 0.3 seconds just to tip the ball in. But apparantly, if you're the LA Lakers, you can have 0.4 seconds to catch and shoot to win the game. Fine, I'll live with that, if that's the worst that it can get...

But then watching game six, I left in disgust after two and a half quarters. It's bad enough that Kobe Bryant travels EVERY fucking time he penetrates. It's bad enough that if Karl Malone whines, he gets a technical, but if he whines EVEN MORE, the ref will change it to a double technical with Malone and Tim Duncan. It's bad enough that if Shaq assaults you it's a no call but if you get within three feet of Kobe it's a reach-in. And it's bad enough that Kobe, Phil Jackson and Shaq have the power to convince a referee to flip-flop on his calls. But when DEVEAN FUCKING GEORGE CAN GET A REF TO CHANGE HIS CALL, that's when it's time to call it quits. I was afraid that if I kept watching, Slava Medvedenko might ass-rape Hedo Turkoglu, only to have it be a foul on Turkoglu. He is from Turkey, after all.

I'm quickly becoming totally obsessed with my fish tank. I already want to increase my filtration and water movement levels by buying a Powerhead 402 and an Optima Air Pump. Yeah, this is my computer talk now!! Take your geek talk and your Wil Wheaton and your tech jokes (There are only 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't) and shove it!! BOOYAH!

2004-05-15T17:54:00.000-05:00

Check out this madness, this crazy roster:

Goalies
Jose Theodore, JS Giguere, Marty Turco

Defence
Bryan McCabe, Sheldon Souray
Jay Bouwmeester, Adrian Aucoin
Brad Stuart, Chris Phillips
Scott Hannan, Steve Staios

Forwards
Alex Tanguay, Vincent Lecavalier, Glen Murray
Todd Bertuzzi, Brendan Morrison, Paul Kariya
Scott Walker, Keith Primeau, Steve Sullivan
Brendan Shanahan, Daniel Briere, Rick Nash

What a crazy team, huh? You know who these guys are? These guys were the guys named to Canada's theoretical "B" Team for the World Cup of Hockey!! Why aren't we fielding two teams?

2004-05-14T04:19:00.000-05:00

I've never seen Kenny Ploen and Dieter Brock play, so they don't count. And Danny Mac did cock-all while he was with the Bombers. This puts Khari against Matty, TJ Rubley, Troy Kopp, Kevin McDougal, Kerwin Bell, Kent Austin, Sammy Garza, Tom Clements and Sean Salisbury. And he's better than all but one. Remember, he's done everything Dunigan's done for us, too. Matty never won us a title either.

Anyway, Nex, I'm in the process of picking up NFL Sunday Ticket. You should come by for a couple of beers when the season starts.

I just picked up a new toy for the apartment: a 50 gallon fish tank. I'm going to be collecting African Cichlids. I'll toss some pictures of some sweet Cichlids I've seen online so you can get an idea of what I want for my tank. Shitty thing is, that's all I can have in there, because the pH level has to be so high for them, it would kill any other fish I'd put in there.

What do y'all think of the new setup? Simple, but different, I guess. Change is always good.

I've been super lazy to do any reviews for Movie-Vault.com lately. This is the second straight set of days off where I didn't write a review. It's probably because it's summer now, or was until we got that retarded snowfall this week. WTF!?! Why is it that EVERY year since I bought those stupid rollerblades that less than 48 hours after the first time I pull them out it friggin snows? Next year, I'm pulling those assholes out in January.

2004-05-11T16:21:00.000-05:00

Khari would not be just behind matty as the greatest bomber QB of all time.......ever here of a couple guys named Ploen, Clemens, Brock, Garza,and even Danny Mac ?

ok garza is going a bit far I will admit that... putting anyone above Sammy is going to far Khari will jump ahead of a few of the names but will be a best third on the all-time greats list when he finally can lead a stacked team to the promised land and not bunk out when it counts.

on a guick side note "the National Post Charity Banjo Bowl, vs. the Saskatchewan Roughriders, Sept. 12 @ 1:00 p.m." What the hell is this about how far is Westwoods banjo comment going to go??

2004-05-11T15:31:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't clicked into here in a while... moving, work, movie-vault.com reviews and general laziness are the main causes. Anyway, let's get going here, I don't have a lot of time. Well, I do, I just need to get back to looking at amateur porn and listening to BSB. I went on a Backstreet downloading binge today, grabbing like 25 songs. Whatever happened to the late-90s era of bubblegum pop? I miss happy songs. Songs that just made you smile, like Chico El Debarge's "Rhythm of the Night". Whatever happened to the days when you had to imagine a slutty Britney Spears hidden under that schoolgirl's uniform, instead of being slapped in the face with the one pulling lezbo with like a 50 year-old? Or the days when the words "Justin Timberlake" didn't immediately trigger horrible visions of Janet's sagging, lopsided, nipple-jewel encrusted boob? Or the days when the words "Janet Jackson" didn't immediately trigger horrible visions of her sagging, lopsided, nipple-jewel encrusted boob? Frankly, I was happy to picture Janet naked, before I found out her titties could double as Mizuno volleyball kneepads.

Wow, late April's a little early for the Khari bashing, dontcha think? I don't know about you, but I put Khari behind only Matty as the best Bomber quarterback in my lifetime. You give anyone, Dickenson, Ray, Cavillo that O-Line and those receivers outside of Stegall and see if they can throw for 4000 yards and 30 tds. Kamau Peterson was a sweet pickup, but I think the Toronto trade will be clutch. Cory Annett gives us a centre, and Randy Bowles is a better blocking back than Mike Sellers. Remember, the last time we traded Toronto for an offensive lineman, we got some guy named Dave Mudge.

Okay, I'm out, but I will be back tomorrow: look for an all-new review at Movie-Vault, and some changes to this place. Nothing major, just whatever, I'm getting bored.

2004-04-22T13:32:00.000-05:00

June 3rd is getting closer............ and The Bombers are starting to build a future finally....we just need a quarterback of the future

2004-04-16T07:05:00.000-05:00

Did you guys see the Vancouver/Calgary game? Well, Calgary won, which is sweet, because I hate all things Vancouver. But the funniest thing was when Jarkko Ruutu knocked Stephane Yelle into his bench. A bunch of guys got into a scrum, and they were all grabbing at each other, and one Calgary Flame fell down, and Jarkko Ruutu put an ANKLE LOCK on him, right on the ice!! Hilarious!!

2004-04-12T08:02:00.000-05:00

Ninja Boot '94.

'Nuff said!

2004-04-11T12:12:00.000-05:00

UNREAL!! I was wrong!! Steve Perry and Steve Augeri are two TOTALLY different people!! What the Hell?!? Now I HAVE to buy the Journey's Greatest Hits DVD as well, because that has Steve Perry singing. And as good as Augeri is, and he's friggin amazing (Hell, he convinced me that no two people who had the same first name could possibly sound so similiar), I need to hear some of that Steve Perry action.

Steve Perry

Steve Augeri

2004-04-11T11:37:00.000-05:00

Whatever, I'm positive I invented ninja boot. I will stand by that. Anyway, just a couple of thoughts:

1. For anyone who's seen the Journey DVD, I have to ask: is it just me, or is there an abnormally large amount of MILFs in the audience? Never have I said, "I don't care if she's 40, I'd so bang her" so many times in a 90 minute period.

2. I was showering at the Wellness Institute when I remembered something that happened to me about a year ago. I was at work, dropping a deuce, when my nose started to bleed. So there I was, crunching it like a madman, toilet paper crammed in my left nostril turning a deep shade of crimson when I thought to myself, "If someone was to bust down the door and take a picture, there is no possible way I could look any more unattractive than I do right now." Anyone else ever have that feeling? What happened?

2004-04-09T05:04:00.000-05:00

Ninja boot is old hat. It's been around for at least a decade. Where have you been?

2004-04-08T17:44:00.000-05:00

I can't believe this!! Remember how when we went camping last summer, we created the term "ninja boot" because camel toe and moose knuckle were becoming too obvious? Well, I was looking through the Winnipeg Sun the other day, and I noticed a picture with a couple of teams at the U of M playing street hockey. One of the teams was called "Taco Fish", and the other? You guessed it, Ninja Boot.

Part of me is pissed because I feel ripped off, but part of me feels good that I added something to Winnipeg's Pop Culture. If Ninja Boot takes off, there'll be hordes and hordes of guys who claim they invented it. But only one will be telling the truth: me.

2004-04-05T08:54:00.000-05:00

Hey, so what is the deal with the Moffats? Are you referring to the fact that they fell off the face of the earth?

Your new place is just across the hall...carry that shit over.

BTW, Hellboy was really good, even great!

2004-04-04T08:23:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone, quick updates on whats going on:
- Congrats on the new house, Sayas boys. It's fan-frickin-tastic. BYOT on the Halo parties. Good luck getting on to that roof, Russ.
- What the Hell happened to The Moffats?
- Workouts have been going okay. I'm crazy hurting from the leg workout, though.
- Moving across the hall in three weeks... still wondering if I should even pack shit up, or just carry it over
- EVERY Bomber road game is televised!! And 7 of 9 home games!!
- Where's Rusty, Mikey, Nelly, Glenny, and Yoyo Ma?
- Everyone here gone to movie-vault.com already? Have you told friends about it? I'm hoping for a very, very, very small cult following, but I'll settle for monstrous commercial success that allows me to completely sell out.
- Someone aped "Walking Tall" so I won't be reviewing that one... but watch out for reviews on Street Fighter, Fubar, and Tommy Boy.
- Now that Wes is back online, and Yo knows about this place, and Shaner's thinking of shit for the Scrabble Project, and football seasons coming up for Nex, this place should get busier than a Giant Tiger with wild colored, short-sleeved, button-up comic book shirts on sale for 12.99.

2004-03-30T17:22:00.000-06:00

Danny Glover!?! Holy crap, it's Danny Gonz, aka Danny Ghanja, aka Donny Lalonde, aka the Kansas City Smack Man. How you doin', Danny? As for what you need to do, what you need to do it's get your ass on here all the time and give us the lowdown on whats goin on in your world. For example:

"Today was the second day I went to the gym. I jogged for a half-hour. My warm-up all the time is to shoot jump shots for 20 minutes, then stretch for 10. Because I don't want what happened last time, where I got bigger and stronger, but I didn't shoot a basketball for six months, and when I finally did, my shots were so off I may as well just thrown the ball at the rim without aiming, Grade Nine-Wes style. My chest is still sore from the workout on Monday. I'm thinking about taking a tai chi class while I'm there. But that's pretty gay. Then again, there might be ladies in that class. Then again, I'm not interested in ladies right now. Hmmm, interesting dilemna. Maybe I just want to do tai chi..."

See, like that. And you need to get on that link that Shane put up and make us a punk song with the punk-o-matic. That's a crazy tool. It's super fun, even when you're as untalented musically as I am.

Oh, and I'm reviewing Walking Tall and The Punisher. Anyone who wants to take an afternoon to go see those, give me a shout, either here or on le telephone. I may be a reviewer now, but I'm still not watching a movie by myself.

2004-03-29T12:42:00.000-06:00

Hello there,

This is my first post here. I'm with Slazer right now, he's naked, but with clothes on. Can you believe it? I have no clue what to do now. MARK tell me what to do, what is this place, what's it's purpose. Can I still be part of this even though I have poor grammar and no handle of the english language. I have run-on sentances and my wrists hurt, I think I have carpal tunnel. I'm too young to have that aren't I? Can you blame me for being angry, do you believe in dreams being broken on a silver platter of hope.

2004-03-28T07:38:00.000-06:00

I just read your Armageddon review, and I have to say, Fucking great job!

2004-03-28T07:31:00.000-06:00

Hey man, I have like 300 DVDs. If you need movies to review, you can borrow off of me.

BTW, check this out. There is a reason Good Charlotte/Simple Plan/Not by Choice sound alike.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/147276

2004-03-27T18:08:00.000-06:00

post just puts it in blogger in the section underneath....

post and publish actually puts it on the site...

I'm buying DVDs at a faster clip than I can actually watch. I still haven't opened Tommy Boy or Double Impact, and yet I still bought THREE more DVDs!! Married... With Children Season One (which is 34.99 everywhere except for the Empress Wal-Mart which had it for 19.99), Bedazzled and the Virgin Suicides

I just watched The Ladykillers. Excellent flick, review should be up by end of tonight. Only shitty part is now I have to go and buy a bunch of Coen Borthers movies. As if I didn't already have enough reasons to go buy DVDs.

2004-03-27T17:21:00.000-06:00

Ok, what is the difference between post and post and publish?

2004-03-27T11:26:00.000-06:00

Hey, if it makes you feel better, I bought "Lost in Translation" when I paid my cell phone bill at Rogers video. And I bought Armageddon and Donnie Darko, two exellent flicks. My Armageddon review should be up at movie-vault by today. It's already done, I just have to wait for them to remove that insane fan rant they have up now.

BTW, are you hitting "post" or "post and publish"? Hit post and publish, you internet-savvy freak!!

2004-03-27T07:01:00.000-06:00

Street Fighter the movie?????

That thing is pure garbage! In fact, there are no words to express how bad that movie actually is. Good lord man, for $8.99 you could have hooked yourself up with some quality entertainment....like a Victor street hooker. You could be kissing something else in that pic.

"It's really good."

2004-03-26T12:07:00.000-06:00

Just came back from my DVD hunting expedition... and what a hunt it was. First, I found Tommy Boy, one of the hardest comedies to find starring SNL alumni, for only 12.99. I've been kicking myself for not buying it when it was 2 for $40!! I also picked up my manadatory Van Damme flick, Double Impact, for 11 bucks. But the coup de grace has to has to has to be, and it may be my greatest DVD buy EVER!!! For the low, low price of 8.99, I found a movie I was willing to order online for $30 US. Instead of telling you, I'm so jacked, that I can't even put it into words. But a picture is worth a thousand of 'em, so here goes:

OH YEAH BABY!!!

2004-03-26T08:32:00.000-06:00

Yep, I'm all over that "Trooper" action. Because when you think Canada, when you think poetry, when you think of the best in Canadian entertainment, only one word comes to mind: Trooper.

I got my Tax Return today, and am planning on getting a membership to Wellness Institute. Someone should join with me. We can get to building some of that extra sexiness for the Summer months. Wes, I'll even pick you up after I'm done work from your new home. Yes, I'm fully aware of what you're saying right now Shane: "How much sexier can you get than Winnipeg's Sexiest Man? How sexy do you want me to be?" Trust me, you can never be too sexy. Unless you're Right Said Fred.

Big-time congrats goes to the Sayas boys!! Congrats on the new basement. Sleeps 2k4, cause when it's on motherfucker... then it's on!

My jacket? What about the fact we went from going INTO a building, to being outdoors? Hilarious...

These are the words to live by - "Good, better, best: Never let it rest, until your good becomes better, and your better best." Wow, I think my testicles walked out on me after that one.

2004-03-25T03:11:00.000-06:00

Hey guys, looks like there is some traffic here again.

Just watched "A Bad Day" and I really liked it...except...what was the deal with Mark's jacket?

BTW Wes, Mark and I were discussing songs that could be used in your movies. I think "Here for a good time" by Trooper would fit great into one of your movies.

And remember the words of wisdom to live by-"Don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk".

....ok, now I'm just being silly......

2004-03-24T18:00:00.000-06:00

Sorry, guys haven't posted here in a while. I've worked 7 of the last 8 days, and along with my commitments to movie-vault.com I haven't had a chance to get on here and talk about whats going on.

So, I'm up to three reviews, soon to be five, at the site. I'm liking the gig, and I have my first theatrical release coming up, where I'll be reviewing "The Ladykillers" starring Tom Hanks. Am I the only one who thinks this movie is gonna be any good? What is that?

Good to see that we're in 76th place now for anyone who needs to see the most on brett card favre master. How that makes sense, I don't know, but Brokun Minds is #1 on google if you search for coastal slazer.

Yeah, we should do a horror/comedy... something with a viable plot... we don't need a working screenplay, but even just a plot would be nice. I think the lines could be ad libbed, much like "Something about Nothing", the Grade 9 masterpiece which, quite believably, had me, you, Francois Bletiere and Dustin Webb as the most feared Street Gang this side of The Warriors or The Outsiders. Hey, Wes, the city offers up screenwriting classes. I want to go, but like a chick going to the can, I don't wanna go alone. Let's do this! At the very least, it gives us shit to do, and at least when we write in screenplay format, we'll understand what the Hell we're trying to get across.

2004-03-22T00:44:00.000-06:00

make that 76th place

2004-03-20T15:55:00.000-06:00

Yep, go to yahoo.com, and type in brett card favre master and there we are, in sole possession of 88th place.

I just saw A Bad Day. Hilarious. Continuity errors abound, but how you were able to form a movie out of us putting together random scenes is something to be commended. Masterful, truly masterful. Let's make another movie soon.

2004-03-19T10:52:00.000-06:00

88th in what? brett card farve master research? thats pretty cool though.. so yeah.. congrats mark on being a movie vault reviewer.. this is your foot in the door when it comes to pursuing a career in the english language.. so when are they adding you to the payroll? imagine yourself getting picked up by rolling stone or maxim.. thatd be crazy.. not an artsy fartsy mag either, cuz youre too much of a jackass to write straight laced.. unless it involves you shaking hands with a giant cartoon dollar sign, that is, then itd be ok..
so the new movie is up.. A Bad Day.. it kinda lost its glow to me because ive probably watched it 39 times for editting purposes, but it feels good to have that scratched off my checklist of to do's.. i got a couple other projects in the works but id like to get together for some more filmage.. maybe a horror/comedy movie.. we'll see, chelsea..

2004-03-18T13:21:00.000-06:00

"I was just doing some research about brett card favre master in Yahoo and found your domain, blogmysalad.blogspot.com ranked 89...which got me thinking..."

I just got this in an e-mail from someone... and she was wrong... we're ranked 88th!!

What the...

2004-03-18T11:15:00.000-06:00

So my first reviews are up on movie-vault.com. Check them out under "Latest Reviews" I did Mallrats and Legionnaire. Like y'all didn't know I'd do a Van Damme movie right away. I've been getting positive feedback on the reviews, so tell me whatcha think!!! Besides, even if you don't want to read my reviews, there's some cool pictures of Anakin Skywalker with his face burnt off!!!

Yeah, we missed out on that Bidwell deal. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to live with that David Boston for Jamar Fletcher and a sixth round draft pick trade we just made. You know the guy takes 102 supplement pills A DAY? It's insane! The guy is a monster. AJ Feely to David Boston and to Chris Chambers. Easy as A-B-C. Now you can't put 8 in the box against Ricky, and you can't double down on Chambers. I'm calling Ricky Williams, without the dreads, will lead the NFL in rushing next year.

As for Kordell, I'll say that if Kordell ever played in the CFL, he would go down as the greatest player in the history of the game. He is the prototypical CFL quarterback. Quick legs, strong arm, no accuracy (which isn't a requirement in the wide-open CFL). With that said, he will NEVER come to Canada. He can make more holding a clipboard in the NFL than taking hits in -30 degree weather here. Even if we were to pay him 400k, which is 100k more than Dave Dickenson, he can still command half a mil AMERICAN to be a clipboard jockey. We have a better shot at Ray Lucas, but I don't know if he'll be any better than Khari Jones, who I think is already in the top 5 all-time Bomber QBs, and if he'd only get us that Cup, could climb to #1 when it's all said and done.

Yeah, Stoddard's clutch. He's been our best receiver in the playoffs the past two seasons. We're going after Jason Tucker, but he wants 150k. Fuck that. He ain't that good. Anyone can get 750 receiving yards when they aren't even the first, second, third, or fourth option in the offence. And he had a good Grey Cup cause Don Matthews brain farted and started two rookie corners over Wayne Shaw.

And I wanna apologize to all the boys: I haven't seen you guys in the last little while. I've become somewhat of a recluse, as I haven't left the house other than for kuya duties (dropping my sis to school and coaching) in like a week. I'm so broke, and all of my money for the next six weeks is already spoken for. I have to pay rent with my next three cheques. But after this rough ride, it should be smooth sailing.

Nex, do you really want me to list 99 DVDs on here?

2004-03-17T14:16:00.000-06:00

The Clan has to get together for one big shin dig....Let's say the "A" on Saturday's or Mondays

Then w bring it back to my house.... it is right behind the "A" 201 Linwood.... directions to my house.... The "A"...the beer store...the cop shop....my house on the corner...

2004-03-17T13:59:00.000-06:00

well obviously the 'Fins were not looking hard enough at Bidwell cause he signed with the 'Bucs and instead signed ?Matt Turk?
The Packers have not done anything significant as of yet with free agent signings but the real question is do the 49ers not want to have a good team this year? OK I know Owens was becoming a pain in the ass but he is one of the best recievers in the league and now he is with the Eagles and then they let Garcia go and his is with the BROWNS....I mean who in thier right mind signs with the browns...and on the bomber front eWe should get rid og Kahari and go for the player they just added a few agos to thier Neg List... Kordell "slash" Stewart., yeah he is already a has been in the NFL but in the cfl he could stand out. And another re-signing of some importance we have Stoddard Back .

As for DVD's if you are looking for some suggestions as to what you should buy next first you need to comile a list of dvd's that you do have so people do not name them already.

2004-03-16T22:11:00.000-06:00

Way to come through in the clutch, Wes. Loving the fact that you're here. You know what, considering it's probably going to be a couple of months before I buy another DVD, maybe I will take suggestions. So far I have Superman, and Lord of the Rings: Two Towers Special Edition, and Up and Cummers #27. What does everyone suggest?

Still, 67% of the ikea shelf is an assload more than I thought. Last I checked, you had "Wet Hot American Summer" and "From Hell".

Oh, by the way, I've got a new gig as a movie reviewer on movie-vault.com. I sent in a review of Mallrats, and six hours later, I had the job. You can check out the site at www.movie-vault.com. Or if you're just a lazy bastard, the link is on the right.

2004-03-16T19:00:00.000-06:00

YAHHHHHH!!!!!
i did it!!!!
im doing it!!!!
im posting!!!!

BMS is awesome!! im gonna have to frequent it more, uh, frequently.. so yeah.. whats up dudes? anything new? besides the latest team trades and who has crushes on who, that is.. i dont know a lick about sports.. lets talk dvds though.. im liking that topic.. oh mark, by the way, i was lying to you about my ikea dvd shelf thing being full.. it has xbox games in it, two books, and my contact solution.. id say its 67% full of true dvds..
i say you should make your 100th be really special and take suggestions, then narrow it down to 4 nominees, then have an online vote.. let your viewers choose your viewings, you know? scratch that.. an idea like that, it'll never fly.. fly, no.. but he leap over tall buildings.. whoa.. theres a movie.. superman.. why dont you make your 100th, the man of steel?
and since im on the topic of dvds, i took the liberty of placing my movie program in the links column, so why not live a little and install that little jewel..
and now its time to say something irrelevant to anything ive said:
my upside down catfish isnt retarded anymore..

2004-03-13T07:40:00.000-06:00

"You were tilting on windmills whist in the throes of a misguided hero complex"

Who said this?
a) William Shakespeare
b) Chuck Palahniuk
c) Martin Luther King, Jr.
d) Fucking Joey from "Dawson's Creek"

This further illustrates my stance that "Dawson's Creek" was the fakest friggin' show in history. And we're talking about a history that includes MacGyver, where hair and wine equal a powerful magnifying glass, and Matlock, where old Andy Griffith equals a competent lawyer. Look, it's one thing to know a bizarre reference to "Don Quixote de la Mancha", but it's a completely different thing to be able to pull it out smack dab in the middle of a conversation while you're fucking painting. Nobody quotes Shakespeare in the middle of a conversation, and he was the greatest writer in all of recorded history. AND WHO CRIES THIS MUCH?!?! I swear, I watched that episode for like 15 minutes and four different people cried, one of them twice. It doesn't make any sense. I was just pissed off by the end of it. I was like, "Agghh!! This is so friggin fake!!" And remember, I'm the guy who's clamouring to buy Saved by the Bell seasons 3 and 4 on DVD. Zack can stop time, and I have no problems with that, but this much crying, and the retardedly complex things that come out of the mouths of every character (so long as they're not crying at the time), it makes me want to pull my hair out. Or at least go to Capeside and whip some Van Der Ass. No show leaves me more pissed off by the end of it than Dawson's Creek. It makes me wonder why I skipped class during first year just to watch it in the Science Lounge. Then again, I skipped class because Danny spilled 7-Up on his shirt, so I guess it makes sense.

I also bought three more DVDs, bringing my total to 99. What should be magic 100? I want it to be something special, something sweet, not just any shitty movie. Maybe I'll buy one of the Special Edition Lord of the Rings. Bizarrely, with 99 DVDs, none of them are the special LOtR's. One of the movies I bought was American History X. At one point, they're talking at the kitchen table, and the dad starts talking about Affirmative Action. I, for one, am ABSOLUTELY OPPOSED to Affirmative Action. I never, in my life, want a job because of the colour of my skin. If I was the most qualified for a job, and they gave it to a white person instead, would you call that racism? Of course you would. So why isn't this? I would never want to lose a job to someone because of their race, so by the same token (no pun intended) I would never want to win one by my skin tone, either. I don't care if you're white, black, brown, yellow or fucking striped purple, the best person for the job, gets the job. That simple.

2004-03-11T23:44:00.000-06:00

I don't know, Nex, I like what they're doing so far. They signed the two best free agents available, Doug Brown and Dave Mudge. Cory Annett should be fine, and, while Randy Bowles is no Mike Sellers, he allows us to play an American somewhere else and may actually be a better blocker than Sellers. We might be able to go all-Canadian on the line which is huge, and Eric Carter is a nice pickup. Keith Stokes is clutch. That said, we still need a second receiver, an import if need be, and we still have too many linebackers. We also need a defensive end. But if we were to get Nate Davis (who we can't cause I just read on sportsnet that he signed with Saskatchewan) or Joe Fleming, we'd have a strong enough push that we can play average defensive ends and be fine. We're not Edmonton or Montreal yet, but we haven't lost anyone key either. Edmonton lost Ricky Ray, Saskatchewan lost Kenton Keith, and Montreal lost Woodcock. All being said, we are two or three key guys away from being genuine contenders. But we still need to get those three guys.

I'm more excited about the Randy Moss/David Boston to Miami rumours. San Diego wants a third round pick for him, and the Dolphins need to jump on this. AJ Feely, Chris Chambers, Ricky Williams, Randy McMichael and David Boston is an offence that can win a Super Bowl with our defence. I'd love Moss, but they want too much. They want two of Ogunleye, Madison, Chambers and picks. Sorry, too much for Moss when we can get Boston for almost nothing. Plus, if Minnesota signs Ogunleye, they give up their first and third. If we get Boston for a third rounder, and we get Minnesota's first and third, we don't need to draft a receiver and we can use all three picks on offensive linemen, which is RIDICULOUSLY weak. Oh, and on the "I wish" radar, John Lynch was released by the Bucs. Try passing on Madison, Surtain, Knight and Lynch. Hell, try anything on the entire defence. Morlon Greenwood can only be exposed so many times.

Oh, and we're also looking at Josh Bidwell as our punter. Eat it, cheesehead!! I'm curious to hear what's happening with everyone else's respective teams (Nex - GB, Al - Atl, Russ - Sea) Come on, don't tell me you haven't heard anything.

2004-03-11T22:14:00.000-06:00

I want to hear everyones bitching of what is going on with the blue and gold platted

2004-03-10T07:10:00.000-06:00

wes, you have admin access - help me out!

2004-03-10T06:44:00.000-06:00

So I just finished watching Rocky IV, which is one of the newest DVDs in my collection (which, I am proud to say, should pass the century mark by the end of this month... I'm somewhere around 95 with my tax return and one paycheck to go). And as guilty a pleasure Rocky IV is, I still can't get over the totally retarded ending. Only Sylvester Stallone can make an ending so ridiculous that you forget about how savagely fake the beatings Rocky receives before he 'hulks up' and eventually wins are. In the heart of the USSR, against their national hero (and if you didn't know he was their national hero, the giant 50 foot banner with his picture beside the pick and sickle should serve as an obvious visual reminder), the crowd starts to chant "Rocky"?!? Because of his determination and heart? Get the fuck out of here. That's like, in a sold out Air Canada Centre, the crowd starts chanting, "USA! USA!" because we've outshot them 53-16 in the second period yet it's still 1-1. It ain't happening. That's the only thing that pisses me off about this movie. That, and no Clubber Lang. Clubber Lang vs Ivan Drago would be a crazy sweet fight. Cause we all know Rocky would have had his ass stomped by these two in real life.

I'm in this weird state where I really wanna catch some old episodes of MacGyver. I wanna see how truly fake that shit was. I wonder if it's on DVD, or if they play it on Prime or Spike or something. Miami Vice back to back with MacGyver would be sweet. Like the Seinfeld/Friends or Full House/Family Matters combos. Two great shows, one after the other. Booyah!

Hey Wes, hook it up with the DVD (or is it VHS) inventory program!

2004-03-09T19:31:00.000-06:00

So yesterday I pulled a massive, insanely stupid jones, one on a Wes-like level. After basketball practice, I was sitting there waiting for the team to finish getting changed so I could kick them out of the gym. On the other side of the court, Mr. Hunter had left the high jump pits up. So, just to see if I could still do it, I tried the high jump. My first jump was fairly clean, albeit at a really weak height of 1.4 metres. So then it was put a little higher, and since I could never really do more than 1.7 in my peak, an out-of-shape me was worried I wouldn't clear the height. So I took off really fast and went about as high as I could. I totally cleared the bar, but even during takeoff, something felt weird. It was on my way down that I realised I had taken two extra steps and had absolutely no chance of landing on the mat. So here I am, on my way down, going "OH SHIT!" as I land neck first directly onto the gym floor. So basically I jumped, had my ass and feet about 4 and a half feet in the air, and landed squarely on my neck. Needless to say, it's kinda tough to move it today.

2004-03-08T04:03:00.000-06:00

Here ya go Nex:
- No, there is no point in getting a memory card for the Xbox
- A bunch of them got Xbox Live. I don't, and I don't know if any of them renewed their membership after the free year was up, so I would guess it isn't really worth it. From my personal experience, the Xbox Live world is filled with cheaters and 13 year olds who swear way too much.

Look at that, a quick answer to a complicated question. It's what we here at blog my salad are all about.

2004-03-08T03:28:00.000-06:00

Wow, did I talk about Terrible Terry Tate a lot when I created this! Anyway, I hope to get this site re-started, especially now that no one really talks on Asian Avenue or Friendster now. Leave your thoughts on anything you've done lately, anything you've seen, personal opinions, anything: I'm gonna try and do it at least three times a week from now on, and I figure y'all will jump in. If not, whatever: I'll think of this as my personal online diary. It'll be the blue screen to my Doogie Howser.

2003-11-11T23:17:00.000-06:00

ok so what has been g oing on no one writes on here no more?...........

question is there even a need for a memory card for xbox?

and any of you got xbox live yet ? is it worth it?

2003-09-27T07:53:00.000-05:00

Two cents?? What's with this two cents noise? We want the whole enchilada, baby!! Was your blogger tossed? Did some drunk white girl show her funbags? What's going on? Posts should be like facial tattoos: All about details.

2003-09-26T15:21:00.000-05:00

so i was at oktoberfest, or as i like to call it, octfestival, but thats just me. anyway, i just wanted to give my two cents on white girls: theyre awesome. thats all. have a good weekend.

2003-09-22T06:24:00.000-05:00

I got it from all of you guys in week one, so here it is. Nice to know vengeance takes 14 days.

GREEN BAY 20
ARI-FUCKING-ZONA 13

Miami 17
Buffalo 7

Run, Ricky, Run!! Paper Defence? I don't think so, think so, think so!! How many playmakers does this team have if it's two best players, Zach Thomas and Jason Taylor, do not get a sack or pick, and yet SIX other players go ahead and either intercept a pass or sack the QB? Sammy Knight, Pat Surtain, Sam Madison and Brock Marion are bar none THE BEST secondary in the league. And only Green Bay's anemic secondary could make Jeff Blake look like the next Brett Favre, and only Green Bay's weak-ass recieving corps could make Brett Favre look like the second coming of Jeff Blake. Favre to Freeman? Yeah, if it was '96. Maybe Green Bay should sign Terrible Terry Tate. Triple T, baby!! He'll give them the injection they need. A special dose of pain injection!! Get on the Pain Train baby!! All aboard!!

2003-09-18T18:25:00.000-05:00

Sweet, 3-1 in the "Nexus Error" Challenge. How the Hell was I supposed to know Jamal Lewis would run for 295 yards? Throw down your picks, Nex. I'm curious to see if I can do it again. You too, Merlin.

Hey Shaney, good to see ya here. We (at work) saw the pictures from the crash, and wow, we didn't realize it was that serious. Get better soon, bro. Oh, we were wondering at work: So, instead of waiting a half hour to take a free cab, you instead took your bike. Then you got hit, and went to the hospital. How did you get home from the hospital? Did you take a cab, a cab that you had to end up paying for? Cause, that, my friends, is irony ramped up to 11. Anyway, can't wait to see ya at work, and just to give you fair warning: get some clever comebacks ready, cause a lot of people are waiting for their shot at the man who's humiliated them so many times. Trust me, the boys in security are licking their chops at the wounded animal. Bring your A game, and show those boys: "When it's game time... it's PAIN TIME!!"

Terry Tate represent!!

2003-09-17T22:28:00.000-05:00

Ok, my first post people. On Monday I was hit by a car while riding home on my bike from work. If you have today's paper you can see the results of the crash. Believe me when I tell you, I am lucky to be alive. I was probably inches away from joining Johnny Cash and John Ritter in the waiting line to the afterlife. I'm not exactly sure how I survived with only minor injuries, but you better believe I am playing the lottery this week. :)

Cya guys later.

2003-09-14T13:05:00.000-05:00

R.I.P
Johnny Cash
&
John Ritter

2003-09-13T16:50:00.000-05:00

Ouch, now I know what it truly feels like to be a bachelor. TWO DAYS after pay day, I check my account balance. The very nice robot lady comes on and says, "Your account is currently overdrawn by... sixty-six... dollars... and thirty-five.... cents." WTF!?! And I have no food, either!! So I go to Safeway and buy two weeks worth of food for the retarded low price of $6.76. Mind you, I'll be living on KD, ramen noodles and the shittiest hot dogs they have to offer for the next 8 days. How bad do these hot dogs have to be when the good hot dogs, which are literally four times the price, contain nothing but cow hooves and anus? That's a nice thought.

What's everyone's favorite ebonics saying? Personally, I'm a fan of, "Belie' DAT!". The way I judge how good an ebonics term is is by a) how completely fucking raped the english language is, and b) how ridiculous someone who isn't black looks when they say it.

BTW, The Van Damme Villain Project will have to wait until next week, since I have NO MONEY to rent any movies. And to base it purely on Tong Po vs Bison vs Chong Li is a fight to decide the top three, not the top ten.

PS - Nex, can you PLEASE change the song? I haven't heard anything that ugly since, "And when this team wins the cup... IT'S COMING BACK TO WINNIPEG" Ahh, Eddie O. Will we ever let that die?

2003-09-10T14:31:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I've said anything, and that might have something to do with Miami crazy ATF-ing against Houston last week. I'm just glad I wore my Ricky Williams jersey on Friday, cause there's no way I'm wearing that thing until at least next Sunday. I have my picks, but instead of showing all of them, I'm gonna do a little segment called, "Nexus Terror?? More like Nexus Error!!" It will be the four games I most strongly disagree with the Nextser on. Wow, this is guaranteed to make me look really stupid at some point or another.

Cleveland @ Baltimore - Gotta go with Cleveland. Kyle Boller is only in his second game, and William Green is due to bust out. Maybe not against Baltimore, but I still can't bet on a rookie QB with no recievers to help him.
Pittsburgh @ Kansas City - In Priest we Trust, baby. The man's back, and with Trent Green, Boa and Gonzalez and an improved defense and home field? I smell an upset.
Washington @ Atlanta - I don't have much faith in this one, but I promised four, so here it is. Coles vs. Price = Draw. Dunn/Duckett vs Canidate/Betts = Atlanta. Brookins vs Arrington = Washington. Bailey/Smoot vs. Buchanan/whoever = Washington. The kicker would have been Vick vs Ramsey to give Atlanta the win, but he ain't here. Look for the Jetskins to shine again.
Chicago @ Minnesota - You're gonna hear a whole lotta Culpepper to Moss in this one. Kordell Stewart? Slash? Kordell's slash alright. Kordell sucks/blows/couldn't find an open reciever if he was sleeping with his wife/... you get the picture.

Also, and this'll probably piss Russ off, but look for Houston to maybe be 2-0 by the end of the week. Why? New Orleans has lost 4 regular season games in a row since last year, losing to such perennial Super Bowl contenders Cincinnati, Carolina, Minnesota and Seattle.

Oh, and this weeks tip: If you decide to get into a UFC fight with one of your buddies, do everything in your power to make sure it's not the one who's father is a seventh degree red belt and one of the scariest men in all of Manitoba.

2003-09-10T14:13:00.000-05:00

omg Miami's new jersy's are so fucking ugly....... ORANGE and not a good orange either an ugly orange

2003-09-09T21:43:00.000-05:00

i am the merlin, and these are my predictions

buffalo
baltimore
green bay
new orleans
miami
pittsburgh
st. louis
indianapolis
washington
tampa bay
seattle
oakland
san diego
philadelphia
minnesota
ny giants

never doubt the merlin

2003-09-09T15:10:00.000-05:00

so my point spread was abit off in week one and there were some upsets......which means I am not gonna do point spread no more but just pick winners:

In week one my record was 9-5 here are week 2 predictions........

Sunday, Sep. 14
Buffalo at Jacksonville, 1:00 pm --------Buffalo
Cleveland at Baltimore, 1:00 pm -------- Baltimore
Detroit at Green Bay, 1:00 pm ----------Grenn Bay
Houston at New Orleans, 1:00 pm ----------New Orleans
Miami at N.Y. Jets, 1:00 pm -----------------Miami
Pittsburgh at Kansas City, 1:00 pm ----------Pittsburgh
San Francisco at St. Louis, 1:00 pm ---------- San Fran
Tennessee at Indianapolis, 1:00 pm ---------- Tennessee
Washington at Atlanta, 1:00 pm ------------- Atlanta
Carolina at Tampa Bay, 4:05 pm ------------ Tampa Bay
Seattle at Arizona, 4:05 pm --------------Arizona
Cincinnati at Oakland, 4:15 pm ------------Oakland
Denver at San Diego, 4:15 pm -------------Denver
New England at Philadelphia, 4:15 pm ------------Philadelphia
Chicago at Minnesota, 8:30 pm --------------Chicago

Monday, Sep. 15
Dallas at N.Y. Giants, 9:00 pm --------- N .Y. Giants

Any thoughts or comments please leave them

2003-09-08T19:35:00.000-05:00

that was mark and our buddy dastin.. he's a master of sikaran.. mark lost.. he tapped out on a chokehold.. its a lot more smoother in the

good version

its 85 megs though so thats the downer.. do the whole "right click" and "save as" if you have the time..

knibb high football rules!!

2003-09-08T16:15:00.000-05:00

well that looked like alot of alcoholic beverages were consumed........ but one question.....

who were the two people dancing together?!?!

2003-09-08T15:39:00.000-05:00

bored? why not watch the trailer for the selkirk 2003 movie..

give 'er..

knibb high football rules!!

2003-09-08T11:09:00.000-05:00

Houston 21 Miami 20

nuff said

2003-09-03T10:41:00.000-05:00

Who says Leonard Nemoy never did anything worth while.... this songs proves he is the master of all music

2003-09-03T03:59:00.000-05:00

Well, if you're gonna talk about greatest of ALL TIME, what about these champs:

Evgeny "The Gene Machine" Davydov and "Baut-fuck" Sergei Bautin?

Remember when we used to play hockey, and even though that team had Teemu, Tkachuk, Zhamnov, Domi and Housley, I would VOLUNTARILY call Evgeny Davydov? Crazy stuff. Almost as crazy as that basketball card game we invented.

"And in the first round, the Terrors select, from the New York Knicks, guard John Starks"

On another note, the Bombers play the Args on Sunday... who's down for some tix? Oh, and TJ's on Saturday, Pal's on Monday.

Woman is a danger peace.

2003-09-01T23:50:00.000-05:00

oh damn I can not believe I forgot about him.......

yes IRONSTRENGTH is the greatest of all time

Please forgive my iignorance

2003-09-01T23:21:00.000-05:00

fuck brett favre! fuck dan marino! the greatest quarterback in NFL muthersmoothin history is IGOR "IRONSTRENGTH" ULANOV!

STATS

igor ulanov #4
height: 7-1
weight: 399lbs
born: 1/32/0666
college: adolescent parent center
nfl experience: 0 days

woman is a danger cat.

2003-09-01T12:42:00.000-05:00

bastardation the stats look fucked did not show up right .....opps you can figure it all out tho

2003-09-01T12:40:00.000-05:00

let's look at the record's between Marino and Favre:

Brett Favre #4
Height: 6-2
Weight: 225
Born: 10/10/1969
College: SouthernMississippi
NFL Experience: 13

PASSING

YEAR TEAM G GS Att Comp Pct Yds YPA Lg TD Int Rate
1991 Atlanta Falcons 2 0 5 0 0.0 0 0.00 0 0 2 0.0
1992 Green Bay Packers 15 13 471 302 64.1 3227 6.85 76 18 13 85.3
1993 Green Bay Packers 16 16 522 318 60.9 3303 6.33 66 19 24 72.2
1994 Green Bay Packers 16 16 582 363 62.4 3882 6.67 49 33 14 90.7
1995 Green Bay Packers 16 16 570 359 63.0 4413 7.74 99 38 13 99.5
1996 Green Bay Packers 16 16 543 325 59.9 3899 7.18 80 39 13 95.8
1997 Green Bay Packers 16 16 513 304 59.3 3867 7.54 74 35 16 92.6
1998 Green Bay Packers 16 16 551 347 63.0 4212 7.64 84 31 23 87.8
1999 Green Bay Packers 16 16 595 341 57.3 4091 6.88 74 22 23 74.7
2000 Green Bay Packers 16 16 580 338 58.3 3812 6.57 67 20 16 78.0
2001 Green Bay Packers 16 16 510 314 61.6 3921 7.69 67 32 15 94.1
2002 Green Bay Packers 16 16 551 341 61.9 3658 6.64 85 27 16 85.6

TOTAL 177 173 5993 3652 60.9 42285 7.06 99 314 188 86.7

13 Dan Marino

Height: 6-4
Weight: 218
Born: 09/15/1961
College: Pittsburgh
NFL Experience: 0

PASSING

YEAR TEAM G GS Att Comp Pct Yds YPA Lg TD Int Rate
1983 Miami Dolphins 11 9 296 173 58.4 2210 7.5 85 20 6 96.0
1984 Miami Dolphins 16 16 564 362 64.2 5084 9.0 80 48 17 108.9
1985 Miami Dolphins 16 16 567 336 59.3 4137 7.3 73 30 21 84.1
1986 Miami Dolphins 16 16 623 378 60.7 4746 7.6 85 44 23 92.5
1987 Miami Dolphins 12 12 444 263 59.2 3245 7.3 59 26 13 89.2
1988 Miami Dolphins 16 16 606 354 58.4 4434 7.3 80 28 23 80.8
1989 Miami Dolphins 16 16 550 308 56.0 3997 7.3 78 24 22 76.9
1990 Miami Dolphins 16 16 531 306 57.6 3563 6.7 69 21 11 82.6
1991 Miami Dolphins 16 16 549 318 57.9 3970 7.2 54 25 13 85.8
1992 Miami Dolphins 16 16 554 330 59.6 4116 7.4 62 24 16 85.1
1993 Miami Dolphins 5 5 150 91 60.7 1218 8.1 80 8 3 95.9
1994 Miami Dolphins 16 16 615 385 62.6 4453 7.2 64 30 17 89.2
1995 Miami Dolphins 14 14 482 309 64.1 3668 7.6 67 24 15 90.8
1996 Miami Dolphins 13 13 373 221 59.2 2795 7.5 74 17 9 87.8
1997 Miami Dolphins 16 16 548 319 58.2 3780 6.9 55 16 11 80.7
1998 Miami Dolphins 16 16 537 310 57.7 3497 6.5 61 23 15 80.0
1999 Miami Dolphins 11 11 369 204 55.3 2448 6.6 62 12 17 67.4

TOTAL 17 NFL Seasons 242 240 8358 4967 59.4 61361 7.3 85 420 252 86.4

Dan Marino Had Isotoner Gloves...... Brett Favre had too many to name them all but most noticablely Nike and Edge Shave gel

BUT WHICH QUARTERBACK HAS ATLEAST ONE SUPER BOWL RING??

Marino 0 - 1 in the big game
Favre 1 - 1 in the big game

Favre = Champion
Marino = LOSER

But no worries as about me slamming Jean Claude. As much as Van Damme can not act I will not touch that subject.... I know you have had like the biggest crush on him for SO LONG so I will spare you, but come on those are amost as bad as any Steven Seagal movie.

2003-09-01T04:48:00.000-05:00

Glad to see Nexus Sister is here, even if it is only to diss the fins. Actually, now that I look at it carefully, they may win the division, because they're in with such fucking winners like the Minnesota Vikings, Chicago Bears and Detroit Lions. If they don't go AT LEAST 5-1 in their division, do they even deserve a playoff spot? How you can say Favre is the best QB of all time and not expect me to respond is ridiculous. But you probably expected me to respond, so it's not that ridiculous. All we have to do is look at their records. Ace Ventura vs. Something About Mary. Isotoner gloves vs whatever the Hell it is Favre sells. I think we can all agree that "The Man" is still the man. Dan Marino is where it's at, Nex. Jump on the bus.

Oh, I love the fact that they wear teal and orange. Because any time you see someone in Dolphins clothes, you KNOW they're a big-time Dolphins fan. No one in their right mind would wear teal and orange for fashion reasons.

Oh, and to kick off the opening of this little site, I will, in about a week, reveal the 10 greatest Jean-Claude Van Damme villains of all time. Now, to most of you who know me, this may not seem like that daunting of a task. But I will judge this fairly by watching every Van Damme movie I either don't remember or haven't seen. Now, if this still doesn't seem all that bad, take this into consideration: I've seen or can remember seeing Kickboxer, Street Fighter, Lionheart, Bloodsport and Universal Soldier. I do NOT, however, remember seeing or have seen Universal Soldier: The Return, The Order, Double Team, Maximum Risk, Timecop, Desert Heat, Replicant, Knock Off, Legionnaire... oh Good God, this is gonna be tougher than I thought. The things I'm willing do to for Blog My Salad. I guess it really is true what they say: "Try everything once, except for incest and heroin".

2003-09-01T04:10:00.000-05:00

Green Bay will make wild card ... I know you can't believe I am only saying wild card but even I have to admit the greatest QB of all time( NFL) can only bring a shoddy defence so far .

As for the "bought" team that wears the gayest colors of any football team anywhere from any time ( not counting any teams from NFL Europe because those just don't count for anything) they will have a disappointing season as usual. The best team on paper will not get it down on the field. I am looking for alot of injuries or egos that get in the way of them doing anything this year. Once again Dolphins will never win another Super Bowl again!

Look for the Buc to return to and win once again the Super Bowl. There team has not changed much and no one can do anything against the best "D" in the NFL.
Or dare I say 49'ers???

AFC MVP: Ricky Williams or Tommy Maddox
NFC MVP : Jeff Garcia

Week 1
( Predictions By me)
Thursday, Sept.4
N.Y. Jets at Washington, 9:00 pm ----> Washington by 7
Sunday, Sep. 7
Arizona at Detroit, 1:00 pm ------->N/A
Baltimore at Pittsburgh, 1:00 pm ------>Pitt by 14
Denver at Cincinnati, 1:00 pm -------> Den by 10
Houston at Miami, 1:00 pm -------> Miami by 14
Indianapolis at Cleveland, 1:00 pm -------> Indy by 17
Jacksonville at Carolina, 1:00 pm -------> N/A
Minnesota at Green Bay, 1:00 pm -------> GB by 8
New England at Buffalo, 1:00 pm -------> New England by 3
San Diego at Kansas City, 1:00 pm -------> KC by 7
St. Louis at N.Y. Giants, 1:00 pm -------> St.Louis by 10
Atlanta at Dallas, 4:15 pm -------> ATL by 14
Chicago at San Francisco, 4:15 pm -------> SF by 20
New Orleans at Seattle, 4:15 pm -------> Seattle by 6
Oakland at Tennessee, 8:30 pm -------> OAK by 12
Monday, Sep. 8
Tampa Bay at Philadelphia, 9:00 pm -------> TB by 14

2003-08-31T00:38:00.000-05:00

First off, I want to welcome the newest members to the salad party, Shane-O-Mac and Nexus Terror. Welcome the the familia, friends. That puts us at four over the course of two days. That means, by my calculations, it should only take two months for us to get to THREE MILLION MEMBERS. Remember, to do your part, all you have to do is tell two friends. Then they'll tell two friends, and so on, and so on.

Since I can basically talk about anything I want, I'm crazy psyched about this upcoming NFL season. Maybe it's cause my fantasy rosters are pretty sweet, maybe it's cause my Dolphins actually have a chance this year, or maybe it's cause you have absolutely no idea who will win, but this season is shaping up to be pretty sweet. Here's my predictions for this year:

- Miami will win the AFC East
- LaDanian Tomlinson will lead the league in rushing
- Charles Rogers will have the best year of any rookie wide reciever since Randy Moss (he would have bettered it had James Stewart not gotten injured)
- Green Bay won't make the playoffs (Yeah, I said it. Hear that, Nick and Kevin?)
- The Greatest Show on Turf will return, but their defence sucks too much ass to compete.
- Seattle will have a breakout year, and I'm not just saying that to convince Feeds to jump in on this.
- Peyton Manning will remain perfect in the post-season: winless
- Pennington's done, Vick isn't. But TJ Duckett and Peerless Price are fucked.
- Tommy Maddox and Matt Hasselbeck will rise to elite quarterback status.
- Kyle Boller will outplay Carson Palmer, but only because the wicked Raven's D will give him better field position.
- AFC MVP: Ricky Williams
- NFC MVP: Donovan McNabb
- Offensive Rookie of the Year: Charles Rogers
- Defensive Rookie of the Year: Terrel Suggs
- Super-Bowl Champs: Who else? The fins, baby!!

2003-08-30T05:47:00.000-05:00

Okay, since Slaze insists that I set down some rules, these are my basic guidelines...
- Racism, sexism, blasphemy, and all that other jazz? That's okay by me.
- Dissing Jean-Claude Van Damme will not only get your ass kicked off this site, but if you're smaller than me, I will kick your ass. And if you're bigger? There are bats, and there are backs, and no broken-backed bastard can catch me.
- Terrorists? Not allowed. If you put the 'bad' in Jalalabad, you are not welcome here.
- If you think Ben Affleck is cooler than Matt Damon, keep that to yourself. If you think Ben Affleck is cooler than Jean-Claude Van Damme, you may want to run into your kitchen and check on your cupcakes there, Sally.
- If you are a sexual deviant, and would like to share your stories about all the different and ridiculous ways you get hot in the pants, please remember that the following words, while not prohibited, are most certainly frowned upon: bukkake, she-male fiesta, vomit sluts, and severe rectal bleeding.
- And please, please remember: Opinions are like browneyes. Everyone's got one, and no two are the same. So everyone's opinions should be respected, and feared. Hey, just like assholes!

2003-08-29T22:31:00.000-05:00

wow.. im blogging a salad.. thats weird.. my keyboard is the tongue and this wonderful mind-birth of mark chua's is the anus.. not his anus, this sites anus.. im not weird like that.. k, this isnt going as i planned.. anyway mark, i see your new approach to get the whole weblogging ball rolling thing again.. allowing anybody who wants to join, the ability to join.. thats neat.. i guess brokun mindz was a little too elitist.. im down, but i think you should set some guidlines.. this way, you can kick someone out of this orgy of salad blogging and not have to lose sleep at night.. hey man, u gotta remember to cover your ass.. k, till the next tossing.. who's next on the roster?

2003-08-29T05:25:00.000-05:00

Here's something weird. I was going along, and changing all of the settings so that according to Coastal's Law, it was fantastic. And the weird thing: under time zone, it lists Canada - Saskatchewan for central time. Well, I'm not about to rep tractor pulls, combines and fucking your sister, so to hell with Saskatchewan. I looked for Canada - Manitoba, but couldn't find it. But I did find America - Winnipeg. That's messed. Unless, of course, they were talking about Winnipeg, South Dakota. Oh, BTW: Coastal's Law? It's just like Coastal's Love, baby: Hard and Fast

2003-08-29T05:01:00.000-05:00

Wow, fantasterrific. I have my own blog site. If anyone else is down for this madness, by all means, go for it.