30 March 2004

Danny Glover!?! Holy crap, it's Danny Gonz, aka Danny Ghanja, aka Donny Lalonde, aka the Kansas City Smack Man. How you doin', Danny? As for what you need to do, what you need to do it's get your ass on here all the time and give us the lowdown on whats goin on in your world. For example:

"Today was the second day I went to the gym. I jogged for a half-hour. My warm-up all the time is to shoot jump shots for 20 minutes, then stretch for 10. Because I don't want what happened last time, where I got bigger and stronger, but I didn't shoot a basketball for six months, and when I finally did, my shots were so off I may as well just thrown the ball at the rim without aiming, Grade Nine-Wes style. My chest is still sore from the workout on Monday. I'm thinking about taking a tai chi class while I'm there. But that's pretty gay. Then again, there might be ladies in that class. Then again, I'm not interested in ladies right now. Hmmm, interesting dilemna. Maybe I just want to do tai chi..."

See, like that. And you need to get on that link that Shane put up and make us a punk song with the punk-o-matic. That's a crazy tool. It's super fun, even when you're as untalented musically as I am.

Oh, and I'm reviewing Walking Tall and The Punisher. Anyone who wants to take an afternoon to go see those, give me a shout, either here or on le telephone. I may be a reviewer now, but I'm still not watching a movie by myself.

29 March 2004

Hello there,

This is my first post here. I'm with Slazer right now, he's naked, but with clothes on. Can you believe it? I have no clue what to do now. MARK tell me what to do, what is this place, what's it's purpose. Can I still be part of this even though I have poor grammar and no handle of the english language. I have run-on sentances and my wrists hurt, I think I have carpal tunnel. I'm too young to have that aren't I? Can you blame me for being angry, do you believe in dreams being broken on a silver platter of hope.

28 March 2004

I just read your Armageddon review, and I have to say, Fucking great job!

Hey man, I have like 300 DVDs. If you need movies to review, you can borrow off of me.

BTW, check this out. There is a reason Good Charlotte/Simple Plan/Not by Choice sound alike.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/147276

27 March 2004

post just puts it in blogger in the section underneath....

post and publish actually puts it on the site...

I'm buying DVDs at a faster clip than I can actually watch. I still haven't opened Tommy Boy or Double Impact, and yet I still bought THREE more DVDs!! Married... With Children Season One (which is 34.99 everywhere except for the Empress Wal-Mart which had it for 19.99), Bedazzled and the Virgin Suicides

I just watched The Ladykillers. Excellent flick, review should be up by end of tonight. Only shitty part is now I have to go and buy a bunch of Coen Borthers movies. As if I didn't already have enough reasons to go buy DVDs.

Ok, what is the difference between post and post and publish?

Hey, if it makes you feel better, I bought "Lost in Translation" when I paid my cell phone bill at Rogers video. And I bought Armageddon and Donnie Darko, two exellent flicks. My Armageddon review should be up at movie-vault by today. It's already done, I just have to wait for them to remove that insane fan rant they have up now.

BTW, are you hitting "post" or "post and publish"? Hit post and publish, you internet-savvy freak!!

Street Fighter the movie?????

That thing is pure garbage! In fact, there are no words to express how bad that movie actually is. Good lord man, for $8.99 you could have hooked yourself up with some quality entertainment....like a Victor street hooker. You could be kissing something else in that pic.

"It's really good."

26 March 2004

Just came back from my DVD hunting expedition... and what a hunt it was. First, I found Tommy Boy, one of the hardest comedies to find starring SNL alumni, for only 12.99. I've been kicking myself for not buying it when it was 2 for $40!! I also picked up my manadatory Van Damme flick, Double Impact, for 11 bucks. But the coup de grace has to has to has to be, and it may be my greatest DVD buy EVER!!! For the low, low price of 8.99, I found a movie I was willing to order online for $30 US. Instead of telling you, I'm so jacked, that I can't even put it into words. But a picture is worth a thousand of 'em, so here goes:



OH YEAH BABY!!!

Yep, I'm all over that "Trooper" action. Because when you think Canada, when you think poetry, when you think of the best in Canadian entertainment, only one word comes to mind: Trooper.

I got my Tax Return today, and am planning on getting a membership to Wellness Institute. Someone should join with me. We can get to building some of that extra sexiness for the Summer months. Wes, I'll even pick you up after I'm done work from your new home. Yes, I'm fully aware of what you're saying right now Shane: "How much sexier can you get than Winnipeg's Sexiest Man? How sexy do you want me to be?" Trust me, you can never be too sexy. Unless you're Right Said Fred.

Big-time congrats goes to the Sayas boys!! Congrats on the new basement. Sleeps 2k4, cause when it's on motherfucker... then it's on!

My jacket? What about the fact we went from going INTO a building, to being outdoors? Hilarious...

These are the words to live by - "Good, better, best: Never let it rest, until your good becomes better, and your better best." Wow, I think my testicles walked out on me after that one.

25 March 2004

Hey guys, looks like there is some traffic here again.

Just watched "A Bad Day" and I really liked it...except...what was the deal with Mark's jacket?

BTW Wes, Mark and I were discussing songs that could be used in your movies. I think "Here for a good time" by Trooper would fit great into one of your movies.

And remember the words of wisdom to live by-"Don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk".


....ok, now I'm just being silly......

24 March 2004

Sorry, guys haven't posted here in a while. I've worked 7 of the last 8 days, and along with my commitments to movie-vault.com I haven't had a chance to get on here and talk about whats going on.

So, I'm up to three reviews, soon to be five, at the site. I'm liking the gig, and I have my first theatrical release coming up, where I'll be reviewing "The Ladykillers" starring Tom Hanks. Am I the only one who thinks this movie is gonna be any good? What is that?

Good to see that we're in 76th place now for anyone who needs to see the most on brett card favre master. How that makes sense, I don't know, but Brokun Minds is #1 on google if you search for coastal slazer.

Yeah, we should do a horror/comedy... something with a viable plot... we don't need a working screenplay, but even just a plot would be nice. I think the lines could be ad libbed, much like "Something about Nothing", the Grade 9 masterpiece which, quite believably, had me, you, Francois Bletiere and Dustin Webb as the most feared Street Gang this side of The Warriors or The Outsiders. Hey, Wes, the city offers up screenwriting classes. I want to go, but like a chick going to the can, I don't wanna go alone. Let's do this! At the very least, it gives us shit to do, and at least when we write in screenplay format, we'll understand what the Hell we're trying to get across.

22 March 2004

make that 76th place

20 March 2004

Yep, go to yahoo.com, and type in brett card favre master and there we are, in sole possession of 88th place.

I just saw A Bad Day. Hilarious. Continuity errors abound, but how you were able to form a movie out of us putting together random scenes is something to be commended. Masterful, truly masterful. Let's make another movie soon.

19 March 2004

88th in what? brett card farve master research? thats pretty cool though.. so yeah.. congrats mark on being a movie vault reviewer.. this is your foot in the door when it comes to pursuing a career in the english language.. so when are they adding you to the payroll? imagine yourself getting picked up by rolling stone or maxim.. thatd be crazy.. not an artsy fartsy mag either, cuz youre too much of a jackass to write straight laced.. unless it involves you shaking hands with a giant cartoon dollar sign, that is, then itd be ok..
so the new movie is up.. A Bad Day.. it kinda lost its glow to me because ive probably watched it 39 times for editting purposes, but it feels good to have that scratched off my checklist of to do's.. i got a couple other projects in the works but id like to get together for some more filmage.. maybe a horror/comedy movie.. we'll see, chelsea..

18 March 2004

"I was just doing some research about brett card favre master in Yahoo and found your domain, blogmysalad.blogspot.com ranked 89...which got me thinking..."

I just got this in an e-mail from someone... and she was wrong... we're ranked 88th!!

What the...

So my first reviews are up on movie-vault.com. Check them out under "Latest Reviews" I did Mallrats and Legionnaire. Like y'all didn't know I'd do a Van Damme movie right away. I've been getting positive feedback on the reviews, so tell me whatcha think!!! Besides, even if you don't want to read my reviews, there's some cool pictures of Anakin Skywalker with his face burnt off!!!

Yeah, we missed out on that Bidwell deal. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to live with that David Boston for Jamar Fletcher and a sixth round draft pick trade we just made. You know the guy takes 102 supplement pills A DAY? It's insane! The guy is a monster. AJ Feely to David Boston and to Chris Chambers. Easy as A-B-C. Now you can't put 8 in the box against Ricky, and you can't double down on Chambers. I'm calling Ricky Williams, without the dreads, will lead the NFL in rushing next year.

As for Kordell, I'll say that if Kordell ever played in the CFL, he would go down as the greatest player in the history of the game. He is the prototypical CFL quarterback. Quick legs, strong arm, no accuracy (which isn't a requirement in the wide-open CFL). With that said, he will NEVER come to Canada. He can make more holding a clipboard in the NFL than taking hits in -30 degree weather here. Even if we were to pay him 400k, which is 100k more than Dave Dickenson, he can still command half a mil AMERICAN to be a clipboard jockey. We have a better shot at Ray Lucas, but I don't know if he'll be any better than Khari Jones, who I think is already in the top 5 all-time Bomber QBs, and if he'd only get us that Cup, could climb to #1 when it's all said and done.

Yeah, Stoddard's clutch. He's been our best receiver in the playoffs the past two seasons. We're going after Jason Tucker, but he wants 150k. Fuck that. He ain't that good. Anyone can get 750 receiving yards when they aren't even the first, second, third, or fourth option in the offence. And he had a good Grey Cup cause Don Matthews brain farted and started two rookie corners over Wayne Shaw.

And I wanna apologize to all the boys: I haven't seen you guys in the last little while. I've become somewhat of a recluse, as I haven't left the house other than for kuya duties (dropping my sis to school and coaching) in like a week. I'm so broke, and all of my money for the next six weeks is already spoken for. I have to pay rent with my next three cheques. But after this rough ride, it should be smooth sailing.

Nex, do you really want me to list 99 DVDs on here?

17 March 2004

The Clan has to get together for one big shin dig....Let's say the "A" on Saturday's or Mondays

Then w bring it back to my house.... it is right behind the "A" 201 Linwood.... directions to my house.... The "A"...the beer store...the cop shop....my house on the corner...

well obviously the 'Fins were not looking hard enough at Bidwell cause he signed with the 'Bucs and instead signed ?Matt Turk?
The Packers have not done anything significant as of yet with free agent signings but the real question is do the 49ers not want to have a good team this year? OK I know Owens was becoming a pain in the ass but he is one of the best recievers in the league and now he is with the Eagles and then they let Garcia go and his is with the BROWNS....I mean who in thier right mind signs with the browns...and on the bomber front eWe should get rid og Kahari and go for the player they just added a few agos to thier Neg List... Kordell "slash" Stewart., yeah he is already a has been in the NFL but in the cfl he could stand out. And another re-signing of some importance we have Stoddard Back .

As for DVD's if you are looking for some suggestions as to what you should buy next first you need to comile a list of dvd's that you do have so people do not name them already.

16 March 2004

Way to come through in the clutch, Wes. Loving the fact that you're here. You know what, considering it's probably going to be a couple of months before I buy another DVD, maybe I will take suggestions. So far I have Superman, and Lord of the Rings: Two Towers Special Edition, and Up and Cummers #27. What does everyone suggest?

Still, 67% of the ikea shelf is an assload more than I thought. Last I checked, you had "Wet Hot American Summer" and "From Hell".

Oh, by the way, I've got a new gig as a movie reviewer on movie-vault.com. I sent in a review of Mallrats, and six hours later, I had the job. You can check out the site at www.movie-vault.com. Or if you're just a lazy bastard, the link is on the right.

YAHHHHHH!!!!!
i did it!!!!
im doing it!!!!
im posting!!!!

BMS is awesome!! im gonna have to frequent it more, uh, frequently.. so yeah.. whats up dudes? anything new? besides the latest team trades and who has crushes on who, that is.. i dont know a lick about sports.. lets talk dvds though.. im liking that topic.. oh mark, by the way, i was lying to you about my ikea dvd shelf thing being full.. it has xbox games in it, two books, and my contact solution.. id say its 67% full of true dvds..
i say you should make your 100th be really special and take suggestions, then narrow it down to 4 nominees, then have an online vote.. let your viewers choose your viewings, you know? scratch that.. an idea like that, it'll never fly.. fly, no.. but he leap over tall buildings.. whoa.. theres a movie.. superman.. why dont you make your 100th, the man of steel?
and since im on the topic of dvds, i took the liberty of placing my movie program in the links column, so why not live a little and install that little jewel..
and now its time to say something irrelevant to anything ive said:
my upside down catfish isnt retarded anymore..

13 March 2004

"You were tilting on windmills whist in the throes of a misguided hero complex"

Who said this?
a) William Shakespeare
b) Chuck Palahniuk
c) Martin Luther King, Jr.
d) Fucking Joey from "Dawson's Creek"

This further illustrates my stance that "Dawson's Creek" was the fakest friggin' show in history. And we're talking about a history that includes MacGyver, where hair and wine equal a powerful magnifying glass, and Matlock, where old Andy Griffith equals a competent lawyer. Look, it's one thing to know a bizarre reference to "Don Quixote de la Mancha", but it's a completely different thing to be able to pull it out smack dab in the middle of a conversation while you're fucking painting. Nobody quotes Shakespeare in the middle of a conversation, and he was the greatest writer in all of recorded history. AND WHO CRIES THIS MUCH?!?! I swear, I watched that episode for like 15 minutes and four different people cried, one of them twice. It doesn't make any sense. I was just pissed off by the end of it. I was like, "Agghh!! This is so friggin fake!!" And remember, I'm the guy who's clamouring to buy Saved by the Bell seasons 3 and 4 on DVD. Zack can stop time, and I have no problems with that, but this much crying, and the retardedly complex things that come out of the mouths of every character (so long as they're not crying at the time), it makes me want to pull my hair out. Or at least go to Capeside and whip some Van Der Ass. No show leaves me more pissed off by the end of it than Dawson's Creek. It makes me wonder why I skipped class during first year just to watch it in the Science Lounge. Then again, I skipped class because Danny spilled 7-Up on his shirt, so I guess it makes sense.

I also bought three more DVDs, bringing my total to 99. What should be magic 100? I want it to be something special, something sweet, not just any shitty movie. Maybe I'll buy one of the Special Edition Lord of the Rings. Bizarrely, with 99 DVDs, none of them are the special LOtR's. One of the movies I bought was American History X. At one point, they're talking at the kitchen table, and the dad starts talking about Affirmative Action. I, for one, am ABSOLUTELY OPPOSED to Affirmative Action. I never, in my life, want a job because of the colour of my skin. If I was the most qualified for a job, and they gave it to a white person instead, would you call that racism? Of course you would. So why isn't this? I would never want to lose a job to someone because of their race, so by the same token (no pun intended) I would never want to win one by my skin tone, either. I don't care if you're white, black, brown, yellow or fucking striped purple, the best person for the job, gets the job. That simple.

11 March 2004

I don't know, Nex, I like what they're doing so far. They signed the two best free agents available, Doug Brown and Dave Mudge. Cory Annett should be fine, and, while Randy Bowles is no Mike Sellers, he allows us to play an American somewhere else and may actually be a better blocker than Sellers. We might be able to go all-Canadian on the line which is huge, and Eric Carter is a nice pickup. Keith Stokes is clutch. That said, we still need a second receiver, an import if need be, and we still have too many linebackers. We also need a defensive end. But if we were to get Nate Davis (who we can't cause I just read on sportsnet that he signed with Saskatchewan) or Joe Fleming, we'd have a strong enough push that we can play average defensive ends and be fine. We're not Edmonton or Montreal yet, but we haven't lost anyone key either. Edmonton lost Ricky Ray, Saskatchewan lost Kenton Keith, and Montreal lost Woodcock. All being said, we are two or three key guys away from being genuine contenders. But we still need to get those three guys.

I'm more excited about the Randy Moss/David Boston to Miami rumours. San Diego wants a third round pick for him, and the Dolphins need to jump on this. AJ Feely, Chris Chambers, Ricky Williams, Randy McMichael and David Boston is an offence that can win a Super Bowl with our defence. I'd love Moss, but they want too much. They want two of Ogunleye, Madison, Chambers and picks. Sorry, too much for Moss when we can get Boston for almost nothing. Plus, if Minnesota signs Ogunleye, they give up their first and third. If we get Boston for a third rounder, and we get Minnesota's first and third, we don't need to draft a receiver and we can use all three picks on offensive linemen, which is RIDICULOUSLY weak. Oh, and on the "I wish" radar, John Lynch was released by the Bucs. Try passing on Madison, Surtain, Knight and Lynch. Hell, try anything on the entire defence. Morlon Greenwood can only be exposed so many times.

Oh, and we're also looking at Josh Bidwell as our punter. Eat it, cheesehead!! I'm curious to hear what's happening with everyone else's respective teams (Nex - GB, Al - Atl, Russ - Sea) Come on, don't tell me you haven't heard anything.

I want to hear everyones bitching of what is going on with the blue and gold platted

10 March 2004

wes, you have admin access - help me out!

So I just finished watching Rocky IV, which is one of the newest DVDs in my collection (which, I am proud to say, should pass the century mark by the end of this month... I'm somewhere around 95 with my tax return and one paycheck to go). And as guilty a pleasure Rocky IV is, I still can't get over the totally retarded ending. Only Sylvester Stallone can make an ending so ridiculous that you forget about how savagely fake the beatings Rocky receives before he 'hulks up' and eventually wins are. In the heart of the USSR, against their national hero (and if you didn't know he was their national hero, the giant 50 foot banner with his picture beside the pick and sickle should serve as an obvious visual reminder), the crowd starts to chant "Rocky"?!? Because of his determination and heart? Get the fuck out of here. That's like, in a sold out Air Canada Centre, the crowd starts chanting, "USA! USA!" because we've outshot them 53-16 in the second period yet it's still 1-1. It ain't happening. That's the only thing that pisses me off about this movie. That, and no Clubber Lang. Clubber Lang vs Ivan Drago would be a crazy sweet fight. Cause we all know Rocky would have had his ass stomped by these two in real life.

I'm in this weird state where I really wanna catch some old episodes of MacGyver. I wanna see how truly fake that shit was. I wonder if it's on DVD, or if they play it on Prime or Spike or something. Miami Vice back to back with MacGyver would be sweet. Like the Seinfeld/Friends or Full House/Family Matters combos. Two great shows, one after the other. Booyah!

Hey Wes, hook it up with the DVD (or is it VHS) inventory program!

09 March 2004

So yesterday I pulled a massive, insanely stupid jones, one on a Wes-like level. After basketball practice, I was sitting there waiting for the team to finish getting changed so I could kick them out of the gym. On the other side of the court, Mr. Hunter had left the high jump pits up. So, just to see if I could still do it, I tried the high jump. My first jump was fairly clean, albeit at a really weak height of 1.4 metres. So then it was put a little higher, and since I could never really do more than 1.7 in my peak, an out-of-shape me was worried I wouldn't clear the height. So I took off really fast and went about as high as I could. I totally cleared the bar, but even during takeoff, something felt weird. It was on my way down that I realised I had taken two extra steps and had absolutely no chance of landing on the mat. So here I am, on my way down, going "OH SHIT!" as I land neck first directly onto the gym floor. So basically I jumped, had my ass and feet about 4 and a half feet in the air, and landed squarely on my neck. Needless to say, it's kinda tough to move it today.

08 March 2004

Here ya go Nex:
- No, there is no point in getting a memory card for the Xbox
- A bunch of them got Xbox Live. I don't, and I don't know if any of them renewed their membership after the free year was up, so I would guess it isn't really worth it. From my personal experience, the Xbox Live world is filled with cheaters and 13 year olds who swear way too much.

Look at that, a quick answer to a complicated question. It's what we here at blog my salad are all about.

Wow, did I talk about Terrible Terry Tate a lot when I created this! Anyway, I hope to get this site re-started, especially now that no one really talks on Asian Avenue or Friendster now. Leave your thoughts on anything you've done lately, anything you've seen, personal opinions, anything: I'm gonna try and do it at least three times a week from now on, and I figure y'all will jump in. If not, whatever: I'll think of this as my personal online diary. It'll be the blue screen to my Doogie Howser.